Sung by: Dorothy Stuart
Recorded in Banner, AR 8/27/63

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I went to see the Barnum show;
I took my mother-in-law.
She laughed at everything she saw
Until she broke her jaw.
Outside the door the big balloon,
Which proved to be my friend.
I shoved her in, cut off the rope,
And up she did ascend.
She never came back,
She never came back.
Away high in the air she did soar.
I’m happy tonight,
For she’s clean out of sight,
‘Til we meet on that beautiful shore.

A jade who lived out on the farm
Came in to see the town.
He registered at Smith’s Hotel
As Mr. Hayseed Brown.
He took the keys and went upstairs;
He was as green as grass.
Jumped in the bed, pulled off his boots,
And then blew out the gas.
He never came back,
He never came back,
And when they broke open the door,
The last thing he said before he fell dead:
“We will meet on that beautiful shore.”

A rich old maid, just forty-five,
Who madly fell in love
With a young man just nineteen,
Who called her, “Turtledove.”
At last the wedding day arrived,
And sweetly birds did sing.
He asked her for a hundred
To go out and buy the ring.
He never came back,
He never came back.
He left her upon the top floor.
That saucy little thing may bring her the ring
When they meet on that beautiful shore.

I went into a restaurant
As hungry as a bear,
And raving like a maniac,
I grabbed the bill of fare.
The waiter says, “What will you have?”
“Bring me a steak,” I say.
He took my order, bowed his head,
And slowly went away.
He never came back,
He never came back.
I waited an hour or more.
His jaw I will break if he don’t bring that steak
When we meet on that beautiful shore.

All Songs Recorded by John Quincy Wolf, Jr., unless otherwise noted

The John Quincy Wolf Folklore Collection
Lyon College, Batesville, Arkansas
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©Copyright 2002 Lyon College