Sung by: Seth Mize
Recorded in Mountain View, AR by George Fisher
Click here to listen to the original recording
Mr. Mize: "Yeah. You want us to put that on there?"
Mr. Fisher: "Uh huh. Do you have to get your guitar?"
Mr. Mize: "Yeah."
Mr. Fisher: "All right. And you also know one about the Titanic, too, don't you?"
Mr. Mize: "Yeah."
Mr. Fisher: "Do you know that one about the Titanic? You got it wrote down?")
Oh, there is a story, though strange it may seem,
Of the great Kaiser Bill and his wonderful dream.
Being weary of hiding, he lay on his bed,
And among other strangers he dreamed he was dead.
And in a fine coffin a-lying in state,
And a crowd of brave Belgians a-mourning his fate.
On leaving this earth to meet his true fate,
He hastened to Heaven and he knocked on the gate.
St. Peter, he looked out; he exclaimed loud and clear:
“Go down below, Bill; you can’t get in up here.”
The Kaiser then said, “To me it's on level,
. . . help will get from our old friend, the Devil.”
He turned on his heels, and off he did go,
And the people was a-waiting . . . below,
But when he arrived, he was filled with dismay.
While waiting outside, he heared Old Nick say:
“See here, all you Yanks, I’ll give you fair warning.
I’m expecting the Kaiser down here in the morning,
And if he should come, to me it’s quite clear
He’s a-wanting my job, and don’t let him down here.”
"All right, my good fellow," the Kaiser did cry,
“Excuse me for listening while waiting outside.
Please let me come in; for to me it’s quite cold,
And if you want money, I have plenty of gold.
“Let me set in one corner, no matter how hot.”
“Oh, no,” cried the Devil. “No, certainly not.
We don’t . . . care for riches and . . .
For suffering . . .make a hell for yourself.”
The spies kicked him out; he vanished in smoke,
And just at that moment, the Kaiser awoke.
He could not go to Heaven, and he knew it very well,
But it was really too bad to be kicked out of Hell.